My EMDR therapist just called and cancelled my appointment for tomorrow because she's sick. I'll have to wait til next week to get started.
LAD, as you know, you and I share this special hell. Fortunately, I have never felt excluded here at MS for having no memory of the abuse. I thought for a long time that I was "less of a survivor" because I didn't have a story, but I ran across old posts that talked about there being "no hierarchy of abuse," and that rang a bell for me, meant that I belonged.
It's funny (maybe "funny" isn't the right word), my most recent T (the man who recommended me to my EMDR T) said something during my intake session with him, something like: "You know, we're told to say that if you don't remember it, it probably didn't happen. But with you, I'm pretty certain something happened."
It was a humorous moment because I laughed at the obviousness of his statement. But it just goes to show you how much professional skepticism there is for what was once called repressed memories and now we're calling dissociative amnesia (DA).
The hesitance among the professional T community to treating DA is, I think, directly connected to the flood of allegations in the 90s related to ritual abuse. There were so many that the FBI concluded that it was mathematically impossible for the thousands of deaths that would have had to occur to support the allegations made by ritual abuse survivors.
The response to this was to conclude that if it was impossible that all these allegations are true, then some of them must be due to "False Memory Syndrome."
Consequently, these days, T's are gun-shy about being labeled a False Memory implanter and shunned from the professional community. It's all very convenient.
That said, I've had good T's all along (minus a few quacks), and I started with one of the best in NYC. He very gently allowed me to come to terms with the idea that I was abused but didn't remember it, and that that was OK.
LAD, I would certainly join any support group for others like us. I don't know if we would have enough to warrant our own message board on MS, but we could start with a group PM or a thread on this forum.
Edited by cant_remember (01/03/13 06:02 PM)
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.