Every day for me is a struggle. Not just Holiday's ,but everyday. Holidays just make it worse. I have a hard time excepting what happened to me.It's hard to explain. Everday gets worse and worse and let alone I can't work and SSI just accepted me.
It's the parts where I don't feel like a normal person is what hurts me the most. I'm socially backward, Can't communicate with my wife at all, The marriage is falling apart. It scares me to death to be thought of having these feelings I have by myself ,but Im so depressed and unhappy I can't show the right kind of love to my wife. It scares me to death to think that I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life.
I just have a hard time excepting what happened to me, but is also having sex with the perpetrator make you gay in anyway? These are the thoughts I have that Im so embarrased and mostly shamed about.