He posted a goodbye and said that he was going to back away from posting for awhile because he was feeling triggered and not in a healthy space when reading/responding. I really feel for him and hope he is OK.
I was moved by what he was saying because there have been times in my life when I've felt very lonely and felt that no one could possibly understand what I was feeling or going through. Like I was watching the world through a glass barrier that I could never break through. That other people had lives filled with happiness and love that would never be afforded to me. That death was the only release.
I know that sometimes that dark space can becon like a comforting, old friend, but I also know that it gets better. Sometimes it is a struggle for me to be present in the moment and not disassociate myself from what I am feeling. I know that letting go of anger and self-loathing can sometimes be difficult. I also know that if you are willing to step out of that dark space and open yourself up, life is waiting beyond that glass. It's not all sunshine and freakin roses, but having an authentic experience is worth the struggle. It's a little piece that I win back.