sitting here and pondering what was last year
looking forward and wondering what this year holds
i'm come so far haven't i?
why am i still here nowhere then?

i traveled this dark road alone and confused
one day i met you and life changed
i gained understanding and hope
before the year was out it was stolen from me

i came traveling with you by my side as my protector
a true brother who taught me the meaning of kinship
one who never batted an eye at accepting me
one who stood by me when my road changed to a darker route

We traveled on together from that one night
we found another on my route into the darkness
He became another true brother to me and your love
known to each other years passed and reunited years later

Three together then and things didn't look so dark
Acceptance and understanding brought us together
A life in darkness and secrecy we found each other
A family brought together and made traveling into a new year

Faltering steps and landing hard at times but together
My love joined us and one the same as my true brother
Two older ones caring for two younger ones
This was my family

Somewhere between old and new it changed
My true brother was stolen away from me
Changed and forgotten who we were as a unit
Struggling to remember but now not ever going to remember fully

My gorgeous talented love was hence taken thereafter
my life crumbled in front of me and nothing to stop it
a true brother gone, a love gone, and a true brother in pieces
The old year ended horribly

facing a new year of uncertainty sucks
i will never get back fully my true brother or my love
both have lost memories so dear to them
i can't ever forget and it makes it hard to walk forward

i want to run back into the darkness
back into the old year
wishing to change the things that ended horribly
wishing to just jump to this point together still with all memories

i feel like mourning as the year ended
mourning over a death of everything i knew and had
but i am not to mourn really
they are still here alive just without memories of things and points

two now standing together that should be strong
faltering and falling apart
what does a new year enthrall?
how i hate the changing years

I sit here pondering the new year
hoping for some light in the darkness
maybe a miracle that they remember fully
and just to be together as a family we once were

i sit here as the new year came and the old one ended
in the darkness
and as it rolled in
nothing felt the same nor did it feel changed