i understand if you don't want to come back here. it's intense and it sounds like you've got supports going for you and your husband outside of this. but it occurs me to as i'm reading your post, this forum is for FRIENDS AND FAMILY, of which you are a part. this forum is for you.
friends and families are imperfect. full of flaws and pain and mistakes and problems. no one is here because life is great and perfect.
you have helped me by coming here because you have prompted me to think harder. i would like to see you post again. feel free to message me if you like.