Tariq,

Welcome to MS. And I'll agree with others that the feelings and experiences you describe are common among us. Distorted sexuality, porn, isolation, inability to trust. We're all in some phase of recovery and it doesn't seem to correlate with how long we've been working on it, or how hard we have tried. It just takes whatever it takes, for each of us individually.

Keep moving forward, you'll find your way eventually. In the meantime make use of the resources here. It WILL help
_________________________
"Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don't be ashamed to cry "
-Des'ree