wow- great job going to therapy- and i think you have gained some insight-- that you need to move on with or without him. Keep working on you, changing you, growing you. He almost won't have a choice in the process to change as well. when we change and grow we are also a part of the process of the relationship changing.
i am really sorry about Christmas. how disappointing. its hard to feel important and loved when the person who is supposed to be our life partner isn't really participating in the relationship.
join our F&F chat next thursday night! it does help to talk to people who "get it".