I understand. I was treated like shit by my parents and relitives so I became brainwashed to firmly believe i am shit. I do alot to get better, work on myself. I know I have to be with another who also works on herself. I stay away from shallow people. Being cared about is not a familiar feeling for me. Have not had it, trusted it. Have a friend now who does care and cries when i tell about my childhood. Strange to me to be cared about.