Hi all, it has been a while since my last post and I just wanted to say HI and let you know how things have progressed.
I was seeind a sex abuse therapist for a few months which did help me get through some rough seas and helped to open my eyes to something that I had not even considered getting help for.
Sex addiction therapy! I thought that this was stupid since I now know why I was acting the way I was(sex abuse)and saw no reason to go through all the BS again with someone new.
I finally went to a SLAA meeting to see what this was all about.
Wow did this open my eyes to a whole new world in which I didnt think of. Many of the men in the meeting were also sexually abused as a child and were in fact acting out as I had in the past. Masterbation, porn, ect ect ect
I finally realized that I needed more help than the sex abuse therapist was capable of and she agreed.
I began seeing a sex addiction therapist and this has opened a whole new world of how I got to the point of where I was and most of all how to help control it. The sex addiction had morphined from my abuse as a teen into a full blown sexual animal and I thought that nothing was wrong with me. I just loved sex. maybe a little more than others, but after all I was a man and men love sex, Right?
Well come to find out, acting out two or three times a day was not normal for a man. I was using my addiction for a coping, feel good, or what ever I wanted it to be. And the list goes on and on.
So to make a very long story short! Once my abuse therapist had gone as far as she could go(which helped me greatly)I needed to learn how to substain from acting out again and have a way to cope with every day life situations that occour.
I have now been seeing a sexual addiction therapist for a while now and the simularity between the abuse and the addictions are almost one in the same. The differance is that the sex addiction thrapist took me much farther into my past problems and is basicly rewiring my brain.
Instead of looking for the next sex high, I am now looking for the next "Life High" and getting the same results so to speak. "Satisfaction" without remorse or harm to my self and family. This is a new way of living for me and I love it.
No more secrects, no more hiding my head in the sand. I am begining to feel alive again.
I still have a long way to go but if this trend continues, and I feel it will, maybe my past will be just that! "The past" not the future with my past holding me back.
God Bless
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All I ever wanted was a hug.