Hey Kryptic,
please try to calm yourself, try to breathe and to find some safe place. It is difficult when we are pushed to disclose and certainly that is not at all good approach in this delicate matters. It could be that both sides would lose.
Your wife could feel lost and scared, she need also to get some peace back. You need to give her assurance that everything is alright and that you are there for her.
It is difficult to be brought forcefully to talk about such intimate history and under some conditions, that is not the best way to deal with abuse.
Please look how to give more time for both of you, you both needed it the most at the moment. And please don't be scared, everything is alright. Many times our spouses are not ready to accept us in full and it is very difficult for them to understand our internal demons left after abuse. Because of that sometimes it is needed that some professional talk with them about it.
Think to tell her that you are going trough therapy, and that there is possibility to take her there for serious talk, she could prepare what ever she would like to ask and you will feel more comfortable to talk in safe environment. She needs to understand that you are carrying for her and that she is not isolated and left alone in all this, but also she needs to know that you need her support. She needs to know that you need help from her, by saying so you could slowly gain her trust.
Just take it easy and try to calm down situation.
I'll have you in my prays!

Pero
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