Last night I was triggered pretty hard by the presence of a woman in the chat room who would not go to the Friends & Family room when asked. She happens to be a pre-operative transgender woman. Meaning she was not a boy and is not yet a man.
I have been triggered by the presence of women in the chat room before but never to this extent and it's left me soul-searching within myself to find out the cause.
I would like to be more tolerant of women in the chat room and in fact have had several deep and meaningful discussions with wives of men who were abused. They sought understanding of their husbands and this is the best resource for them to do that. I do not have a problem with that at all, but it seems when it comes to a woman actually declaring herself to be a male survivor, and mingling and commiserating with us as if she herself was an abused boy, I cannot seem to accept this.
I realize I may sound insensitive here as there are probably precious few resources for those types of individuals, but if we allow one in and accept her then we must allow them all in. In the long term this site will no longer be a site strictly for male survivors but also for those who simply claim to be male.
I would also like to apologize to that person, she knows who she is. I did not intend for the discussion to become heated, but I did ask her politely to go to the F&F room.
I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
Bono (U2) - 1987
Do what you love and love will find you. - Me (21 June 09)