I wish i had a dad. My father has a photo of his
disordered neices. i hate that i liked Ken's crotch.
i dont wantt o trigger anybody.
They helped me by turning me against my mom.
My dad ...he is peculiar... i won't go to sex addicts
and tell them i am addicted to gay porn.
I already told them i am a virgin-in different words.
I spent Xmas evening- 4 hours watching that stuff!
This woman therapist ;who lives in California- we are
chatting Wednesday morning via phone.
And i am going to tell her how special i behaved Christmas night.
I hate this. I have a boook called the Porn Trap ...i only
read 3 chapters. It is good ...i just wont feel unwanted-
or avoiding. I hate this fucked up feelings. I wish i could
stand away from myself dig in my head and heart turn everything
around and say " there i am all cured now" , "how do i feel"?
Therapists............what if i was in Toronto....what is the
dif? You still cant freak people out!
You have to b careful! This is all very lovely.
Well got to go .
byebye!

Goran