Hi, New here but hope you can offer some insight. I was abused around 11/12 yo by a male. I started drinking soon after for 17 yrs alcoholically. I got sober 15 yrs ago and started dealing with abuse soon after. While drinking, I acted out sexually mostly with women, but with men also. I have been in a few long-term relationships drinking, and been married and divorced in sobriety which brought up a lot of abandonment stuff which I'm addressing in ACoA. I am pretty stable now, and in a good relationship with a smart, beautiful woman who is also in recovery from drugs & alcohol, and has no past CSA but has intimacy issues. My problem is, I know a little about her past and she was not super promiscuous, but single and sexually active for most of her 40+ yrs. I am so F'ing intimidated by her sexuality, the number of men she has possibly slept with, their 'size' and attractiveness, how she wants me to 'take control' in bed and a 3-some she had in college. It is owning me. I obsess on her past with visuals in my head. She says she has no regrets from the past, wasn't a whore, and that I give her more pleasure and she loves me more than anyone she has ever known. I am so insecure about all of that. Of not being enough. She claims she wasn't interested in sex which I interpret as she let them do their thing on her as her girlfriend-ly duty. I need sex to mean something to her and I feel I will never get that need met. I'm rambling now but would love to hear if anyone else feels this or even has moved past it. Thanks


Edited by JohnnyD! (12/24/12 12:09 AM)