after the 2nd practice session -

i decided not to be such a wimp and to go ahead and stick it out. i remembered a great line from a book i read - "there's a difference between falling and jumping." i guess you could also say - "there's a difference between being pushed and jumping." the first time - i was pushed. the second time - i jumped.

it wasn't any easier - if anything it was more difficult. they all seemed to be going forward and improving - and i was not. over half-way into the practice, i asked a question and it revealed at least part of the reason for my difficulties.

though i don't really read music, i can tell when notes are going up or down and roughly when several lines of harmonies are going together and things just weren't making any sense. come to find out - i had a copy of the music that someone had hand-written in additional passages in several places - different from anyone else. and there were also parts of the bass line (my part) that the guy directing us had decided to eliminate - but it wasn't marked out on my copy. NO WONDER i was confused!

and i couldn't help but think - that is the story of my life: i'm never on the same page with everyone else - because i was given a defective copy of the sheet music - or the text - or the script - or the instructions.

maybe next time it will go better.
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"