A great question asked in "Adult Children of Alcohlics" 12 step program is -

WHO AM I WITHOUT TRAUMA?

My sponsor and I added to this:

Who am I without envy?
Who am I without anger?
Who am I without jealousy?
Who am I without fear?
Who am I without self pity?

Who am I?

Without all those negative feelings, I am free to choose who I want to be.
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If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.