I kind of got into a scrap with one of my best friends today, as I expressed my frustration and anger with him for not responding to any of my emotional comments (those dealing with feelings), or as we haven't seen each other in a while, he never responds when I say I miss him or want to send him a hug. He responded that he does not feel comfortable being missed by a man or having a man sending him a hug, and he said to me that he sometimes has the impression that I forget he is not gay, but rather straight. In his responses, he begins with "I am a man" and somehow that legitimises his stance.
To me, expressing of emotions between "close" male friends or an occasional "I miss you" "yeah you too man" are not correlated to homosexuality and should not be in any way threatening to a heterosexual man. I feel like my friend only tolerates me for being gay, but is extremely homophobic as he can tell me this without guilt, or he will make comments about me not being a real man and a male girlfriend to straight girls.
I don't know what to say to counter this.... is it even homophobia? He is not one to ever apologise or admit that he is wrong, and he will spin an accusation of homophobia back at me. What can I say to homophobia? I desperately want to connect with other men and find meaningful friendships (and eventually positive romantic relationships with gay/bi men), but should I have to put up with this? He often makes me feel as though I am wrong and out of place... is such a friendship even worth the heart- and headaches?
Edited by JayBro (12/20/12 12:38 AM)
Finding meaning and Brotherhood