Haliwic. Yup sounds a lot like my situation. H seems to be softening a little. One of his friends told me he was talking more. H has started talking to me in detail about a buddy of his. The guy is a iraq vet with ptsd. He is really struggling with his issues and H tells me all about it at length. However this is the only subject on which he have meaniful converstion. Its strange to me because he talks about how messed up his buddy is and how much he pushes him to get help. How hard it is on the buddys girlfriend to see him self destruct. I have to bite my tongue and just listen. He has so much compassion for this friend and that's great but I feel like when it comes to me there is no compassion or understanding.
And yes the whole therapy situation. I also can relate. sometimes its so hard not to run out of the room screaming. He minimizes all of his acting out and has this crazy version of the truth that makes no sense to me. He constantly tries to shift the conversation away from himself and only wants to talk about everything that I do wrong. Its pretty frustrated. The things he says he resents me for are all silly like that I wanted a vegetable garden. I've asked him to take a session on his own but he refuses. Apparently I must be in the room to hear how horrible I am.
Okay I. Should stop ranting now. Hopefully your H will come around and so will mine
Keep calm and carry on!