This is one of the most difficult issues we face I think as a people,especially us as survivors. We desire to be autonomous,self sufficient in control. it is our hope to be Lord of all we survey at least to some degree. and we can be those things on a certain level. but we also face the knowledge that there are others in this world who have those same aspirations, and their actions will affect ours though thankfully not so horribly as this every time.
So then there is the desire to believe in God at least that is my desire, and the desire of many, but as we look at the Almighty we have to wonder how He can allow these things that are so horrific.There are Questions of free will,The ultimate good,what defines right, where we really are in the plan of God, what that plan might be, what He knows that we do not,on and on the list goes. I think that it is a bigger question then we can hope to completely know.
Personally I have seen enough good in my life to balance the bad somehow. I have known Gods goodness to contrast the evil though I cant pretend not to be overwhelmed many times.and I know there are many who do not feel that, who have not felt that personal God,and it grieves me deeply,It is another question I can not answer, all I can say for sure is, I tried to shake Him. I tried to not believe. I personally could not do it. there is sooooo much I cant pretend to understand, but even still... I do believe.
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Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville