Welcome to the forum, and my I surmise by saying OMG
There are only two incidents which stand out in my mind that I feel comfortable calling abuse. The first is when I was fellated as a 9 year old several times when my adult male friend thought that I was asleep. I remember being scared and confused as I didn't understand
This quote is enough to have sent even the toughest man into a frenzy let alone a 9 year old child. There essentially is no more need for discussion here beside to say WELCOME TO MS.
Read as much as you can, take the advice that make you feel better ignore that which makes you feel worse and be brutally honest with yourself about what had happened to you.
A great story to read from its inception is lapchinj, his life has similar threads to yours and when he first came to MS felt that he did not belong here. Look up his stories.
You are a valuable person that deserves the best in life, heal from your past and grab life by the proverbial's.