Hi Zoebear,

Many of us here are on the high side of forty and like you, are dealing with the secret of our abuse for the first time. You are in good company here. You'll find that you have much in common with many of us, and most importantly, that you're not alone in this. You're not a freak, not "dirty and inadequate", but simply a man who went through a traumatic experience as a boy, and has developed the courage now to face it. Keep reading, keep posting, and tell your story as only you can tell it.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan