Hi,

I'm feeling nervous because this is my first post on the forums though I've attended a Male Survivor conference before. Hope I don't violate any rules or norms.

Recently I've recognized that I have experienced inhibited orgasm when it comes to intercourse with my wife for several years, and I'm looking for validation from others who also experience this.

I've started working on it in therapy but feel like I haven't gotten to the heart of my emotions about it yet. I can feel that it relates to abuse I experienced with women, usually in a group, and I've started to try to piece it together. Today I read a forum post about inhibited male orgasm and it made sense to me, it fit with my experience.

My wife and I have struggled through sexuality for years, as we're both childhood sexual abuse survivors with both male and female perpetrators. This year we're finally in a place to have more positive sexual experiences more regularly, yet I feel stuck in terms of enjoying intercourse fully. I've even gone to a urologist and tried viagra and sertraline, which helped keep my erection going, but I still haven't been able to ejaculate most of the time with intercourse, though I can almost always with manual stimulation or self-stimulation.

This is particularly poignant now because we want to have kids, we're "trying" to have kids. For a while I thought performance pressure was the main issue, but now I feel like it is more triggering, dealing with pockets of pain that haven't healed yet. I've done many years of therapy and dealt with many things, and yet now I have to deal with this.

Thanks for reading this, whoever read it (-;. I appreciate any validation of my experience or others who have struggled similarly.

-Jon