Sad to read this and how hard your journey has been with the future so uncertain. I cried just reading about your daughter and know that is difficult. My brother was a research patient four years with Stanford Medical Center in the mid-1960's with leukemia.
Seems this type always strikes such angelical children.
As for suicide, yup many of the members here understand. I have dealt with it to the point of visualizaion and beyond. Lockdowns, hospitals and police..and I am a tough, inteligent and successful man.
The emotional and mental energy of a survivor with unresolved trauma affects those living with them. I realized this long ago and remained a bachlor for the past three decades.
If you google up; Secondary Survivor of sexual abuse or there is maybe a book in this sites library?
This site has Friends & Family and lots of active members who understand the dynamics of relationships...or are working thru issues.
Have you applied for widows survivor benifits from Social Security? Plus your daughter? Social Services should be able to help you expidite benifits.
Also if you have a primary care physician they can help with documenting your physical/mental health on forms the Social Security office sends out.
The womens rape crisis centers have LCSW professionals who also can help with secondary survivor trauma and receive paperwork from Social Security and attest to your condition.
With everything you bring to the table it would seem to me impossible for you to work. And at the proper time Social Security has back to work programs.
I will keep you and your daughter in my current thoughts and send peace and harmony your way.
Chin up...and seek inspiration if you can. Here is a bit I wrote this year.
I remember the way I met Hope.
I already knew his twin False Hope from minor let downs,
yet Hope remained elusive until Fate introduced us.
Hope enabled me when I wanted to quit.
When dignity and all modesty had been abandoned,
I needed Hope and he was very generous.
He helped me create the Light when I entered the Darkness seeking Truth.
It was not long ago we met,
but since then Fate has allowed me to share Hope with many people.
If you follow him you will meet True Happiness and all her friends...
Harmony, Love, Beauty and Understanding are just a few.
...and you will..in the end know everything is All Right and Fullfiling.
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"