There will be an end to the number of steps it takes to get free, but how many I don't know. Now more memories are coming to the surface of what those 4 men in the car did to me when I was 8 or 9. Triggered. This week I saw Hot Wheels in the toy store and their tracks, reminding me those tracks were used to hit me. Triggered. I hate triggers, but I think that only by facing them can I be free of them. I don't know how to deal with them but my T. will. When I learn how to face them down they won't make me cry anymore. I am so tired of crying too, but it will also end someday. I will not let this ruin Christmas for me, never never again!