HI HD

Sorry for the stress, its a tough time living with a survivor.
I know that I do the same, but I have Boundaries. I am not allowed to use the Computer at home. But then I spend the rest of the day in front of the TV. YOU Never win.
I use the TV to avoid sharing, caring, feeling and confrontation, If we don't talk we cant argue and that is great for me. I am also afraid of talking and sharing because it might scratch out something from my past.
We are both hurt and broken, and she wants me to understand what I did to her in the past, but in order to do that she keeps dragging up the past, I am in turn ashamed of what I did to her in the past and don't want to be reminded of the evil that I did.

So all in all it is a vicious circle and all get hurt and all continue to suffer.

The only thing I can offer you is that you MUST NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. Its not your fault and his suffering and pain does not make you less of a person. You sound very very Co-Dependent, and you have a very low self esteem, (This is what I pick up from your post, I may be wrong) Key here is to not have your happiness dependent on him. Your happiness is yours to take, its the one thing that you can control, Carpe Diem, (Seize the day)

Heal well
Martin
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