When I get triggered, sometimes I go into a state where I lose motor control of my body -- which means that if things got really bad for me, I might not be able to raise my hand as a "safe" signal.
Gecko, you're right that it's good that my T took a step back. I didn't want to be his guinea pig, but didn't want to leave the "nest" of trust that he and I have established, either.
So this way, I get to keep building on the trust relationship I've built with my T, as he follows my EMDR as a case study for his own professional development. We might video record the sessions as well.
Thanks for listening to me.
"There is a Catskill eagle in some souls that can alike dive down into the blackest gorges, and soar out of them again and become invisible in the sunny spaces... even in his lowest swoop the mountain eagle is still higher than other birds upon the plain, even though they soar." -- from Moby-Dick