Jeff
Thanks for your response.

I have some questions to challenge you- and to tell u the swamp is about my shame and my mistakes and my f** ups since approximately the age of 15-16.

This includes a deep search for power, affirmation, nurturing and male intimacy -(my father never provided or modeled this for me) the only way I was taught- searching out and being sexual with other males who met my needs. Owning all this acting out and relentless search was part of my healing.

Shame kills.

So can you get over your mistakes?

You were not taken advantage of ?
Adults and older males always looked out for you and helped you develop as a safe mature man?

It's a complicated story, but recovery is also about Untangling the messages and getting healing for our wounds and moving ahead.