eff - I read and re-read your incredibly moving post. This is what really stuck out for me:
I cannot say what happened to me before the age of 10 simply because I don't remember anything about those years. I don't even remember if I had any friends.
ow can you expect to know little Jeff when the memories of your childhood were so completely amputated from you? I've known you here for a year now and the beauty of who you are doesn't just materialize from adulthood. Little Jeff is there every day. I know that doesn't help you know him better, but maybe it helps to know that your heart has touched mine - the little Eric in me loves little Jeff. I've been getting to know him and I hope someday you will find him. If the adult Jeff is any indication, he was a great kid. And as a now adult to another adult, I say that with full respect.