L84 - this idea is a terrifying (only speaking from the spouse perspective) one, but only truly in the initial stages of recovery. When the bombs first started dropping in my marriage, I was constantly scared and searched desperately for status quo. Now that I am deeper into the process as a supporter, I truly support my husband's journey to know and love himself. Anything less than that seems bad for him and bad for me.
And whome passes along good advice, it is a process of building back a human being. Labeling and making firm decisions during this process only cause more pain.