Been three days since I started the patch again and I have to say that the only side effect I'm having is very bad insomnia. Which is to be expected as my body gets used to increased levels of testosterone. This happened the last time I started it.
Other than that, I'm feeling more centered, calmer, present and "in my body". I don't feel chronic tension or chronic unconscious fear anymore. I am taking more risks, being far more social, and not afraid of what other people might be thinking of me. This results in my cracking more jokes, being more spontaneous, and being more open.
I think I'm going to be staying on testosterone for the rest of my life. And of course I'll still be working with therapy and spirituality to retrain my thinking brain to see and feel the universe as a safe and warm place to exist in. The testosterone seems to be telling my body that the universe is safe, and that my body is secure.
Some physiological issues seem to also be subsiding as well. I wonder if maybe I was born with some malfunctioning testosterone/hormone production system or something.
just my rambling thoughts. I'll update as time wears on. I'm ***SO GLAD*** my Dr. prescribed the patch and that I'm back on this stuff. SO FUCKING GLAD!
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.
Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM