Hey seikei! This is definitely an interesting thread you've posted.
I think that this idea of misplaced attraction may exist, but independent of sexual orientation. I believe that there is a difference between an admiration and intimacy (because of certain desired traits or qualities a person possesses) and actual attraction. I dunno, perhaps one is attracted to others more because of a certain role they play, but the attraction is still in accordance with their sexual identity.
For myself, I am a 21 year old gay male, and occasionally I have become extremely attracted to certain friends or male mentors because, asside from them being physically attractive, they represent a strong male-connection which I miss in my life, or they have certain qualities, which I would find in my ideal man. I have never been in a relationship before, and I do not quite know then what it is like to be fully in love with someone, with them loving me back. Sometimes it can be embarassing, as you've stated, because I feel that there is something genuine lost when I feel attracted to these men in my life. And I do not know if it is a sexual attraction (for example, I feel this attraction to my closest male friend, but sex with him would be terrible and ruin our friendship) or a yearning for closeness and fear that I might lose him in my life.
Wow...I don't know if I'm making any sense, but you brought up a good post and it is making my mind spiral...
One thing I can tell you, is that I knew I was gay before I was sexually abused by 100s of men online, and I had actually gone online to find other gay men... but it has been straight-identified men who have mainly been my perps. I wanted connection with men outside my family, and was taken advantaged of in the process.
Finding meaning and Brotherhood