Thank you for the messages of hope in PM and on this forum.

I saw my Dr. today and explained what was going on, and my previous experience of using low grade testosterone to alleviate anxiety and depression and he wrote me a up a prescription. I was very surprised that he was so willing to work with me on this without any reservation.

Got the patch an hour ago, and already am starting to notice a difference in my mood, and physiological change (I've had a tense muscle in my left butt cheek for as long as I can remember, and when I was on testosterone before, the muscle finally relaxed. I just now noticed that less than an hour of putting the patch on, the muscle has relaxed).

Feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks.

Thanks for your support guys.
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It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

-- I must remind myself that sugar is my enemy. I can't control my sugar consumption and sugar makes me mentally unstable. I'm reminding myself (because I forgot again).