Thank you for the messages of hope in PM and on this forum.
I saw my Dr. today and explained what was going on, and my previous experience of using low grade testosterone to alleviate anxiety and depression and he wrote me a up a prescription. I was very surprised that he was so willing to work with me on this without any reservation.
Got the patch an hour ago, and already am starting to notice a difference in my mood, and physiological change (I've had a tense muscle in my left butt cheek for as long as I can remember, and when I was on testosterone before, the muscle finally relaxed. I just now noticed that less than an hour of putting the patch on, the muscle has relaxed).
Feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks.
Thanks for your support guys.
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.