It is great to hear from you and your input! I too was also raped several times as a young adult, and many responded to my story which such similar, immature sayings. One gay friend said to be "But I don't understand though, as a guy, you should always be able to defend yourself against other men." I often don't mention it either, and sometimes feel like I have no right to address my abuse.
It is definitely hard finding other gay male companions, nevermind a partner, and it is sometimes why I identify as a gay male, or a man who likes other men, but not at all with the gay community and "culture".
Finding meaning and Brotherhood