Hey,

Thanks for posting your question. What your BF is dealing with is not the province of amateurs. Like others have said above, this is serious, and he likely needs help from a professional. It is a good idea to steer him toward this site, for instance, and there's a wealth of literature. I, for one, haven't been able to read any books on the subject. Like Frankie, I'm not one to "disclose" anything. I mean, I'm not talking about lead paint on a house, here. This is my business and my wife's. My brother was involved in the abuse. I haven't talked to him about it and don't intend to. My parents looked the other way, and I have no interest in disclosing to them. I would NEVER have come to grips with the abuses that happened to me, because I was too ashamed, too scared, too angry, confused, humiliated and utterly lacking in the vocabulary and other tools necessary to deal with it. It's TOUGH!

So I'm proud of your bf for raising the issue. But I'm wondering why he did. Like what sparked him? I hope it's an effort for him to open up and improve his life. It could be any number of reasons. But to tell the truth, many of us who have been abused don't know how to improve our lives. That's really the root of the problem. If we did, we wouldn't find ourselves stumbling to the therapists office in our 30s, 40s, and 50s after we had otherwise "figured" out our lives!

Good luck to you. Be true to yourself, and demand the same from those you love in your life.

Bob