Hi, I haven't posted for a while... but was just wondering, do survivors who have not yet embarked on their healing journey have the ability to feel love for someone? like the romantic type of love?
My survivor told me about the CSA about a year ago while he was extremely intoxicated. Since, he has done nothing to face it, and he thinks the best approach is to simply "forget" (I doubt that's possible). What I don't really understand is that he tells me often that he is confused about me and his feelings for me, like they are always fading. He feels like his life is getting "boring" etc.
Is it possible that the CSA is the reason he is confused about me? Or am I just in denial here and the truth is that he just doesn't love me?
Sometimes when he is really drunk, he tells me that I am the only thing that brings any light to his life, that I am the only person who has ever made him happy. But when sober, he makes me feel so unwanted.
Recently, I didn't contact him for a week. Then when I saw him I asked if he preferred that week of separation and he said it was easier for him because seeing me makes him feel so upset. I don't understand this. He also took down the portraits I drew for him of us in his house because he said they are too upsetting to look at.
Some guidance would be greatly appreciated. I am fairly young and new to all of this, but my heart feels so broken