A book that I tell all spouses to read is Co-Dependent no more by Melody Beattie.
A lot of partners refuse to believe that they have been manipulated and Cajoled into doing things to make their partners lives better at the expense of their own. There is nothing wrong with being Co Dependent but it is an issue that needs to be resolved so that you can begin to function as an independent person.
There is nothing wrong with having empathy for your partner and living your own life, but there is a big problem with living life in order to keep him happy.
I strongly recommend that you read this book. Its pointless trying to heal someone else but it makes more sense to heal yourself. Having insight into his condition is a benefit to you, but you cannot make him want to heal.
I hope that this helps a bit.
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