Living in a fog and loosing time is so much a part of my life. Mine has gotten worse, when younger I seem to have had better control of the fugues, I would stay on task and did not seem to do anything to harm myself. Over the past six years, with the memories becoming so much a part of my life, I have been in almost perpetual state of fog, fugues and lost time. I have been detached and separated from myself. I have very low moments and lately since my last fugue and found myself in the hospital, I have been grappling with staying focused, feeling attached and keeping my spirits up. The part of me that felt special and loved by my abuser has been muted. My T believes my last fugue of wandering the streets for hours and getting to the hospital may have been this part coming to terms with how the abuser really treated us and felt about us after visiting our place of abuse several weeks ago. But I am still feeling detached from myself and the parts of me. I try hard to stay here and upbeat. No one who has not been abused seems to understand how we feel. Like was said here, it is a way of life for us--to protect ourselves from the past we live in a fog and detached from ourselves and the world.