this is not a direct answer to the question - but something that really has helped me:
God presumably loves Jesus - since Jesus is the Son of God. but God did not intervene to stop the torture, suffering or killing of Jesus. since that is something that i believe is true - it is also the way that i can still believe that God loves me - even though He did not stop or prevent the abuse. it doesn't explain why - but it makes it easier for me to accept.
another thing that comforts me is what Jesus said on the cross: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" - i know it might seem weird to find this comforting - but i have felt that exact same way - and if Jesus did too - i feel like he understands me and it is easier for me to feel close to him and harder for me to blame him or be as angry at him for what happened.
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago