I think we all just want to be accepted and feel like we fit in.
Over the years, I have learned to settle for a few close friends. Being in large groups of people who don't know the truth about my past, just makes me feel more lonely.
As for girls, I have tried to use sex to kill the loneliness in the past. It just made it worse, because there is no intimacy in having sex with someone who doesn't even know you... and being physically intimate with someone while being completely shut off, emotionally, is one of the loneliest places I've ever been..
So I settled for committing to one girl, even though that came with its own army of daemons... Being able to be both physically AND emotionally intimate with someone, is worth all the fear and stress that comes with a relationship. To me, anyway. YMMV.
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def LeppardMy Story
, Part 2My blog