Worldtraveler,

You are indeed awesome. I hope you have now learnt that your boyfriend being a CSA survivor does not make him a paedophile.

In my humble opinion, I think you need to apologize to him for telling him to not have children because his childhood was stolen from him by a vile person(s). You might not agree with me, but if you really love him you need to take those words back and apologize. I think he is a wonderful man as you say, and remember he was only a child, a child who should have been loved, nurtured and protected - but all he got was abuse of the worst order.

About him not being ready to deal with it - it is very difficult for survivors to face up to these things. The demons and monsters are scary and gigantic. What he needs is patience. Let him have some breathing space - he is already feeling choked up with the abuse, and your discovery. I don't know that he could take added pressure of being made to deal. Key thing to remember is you found him out, he wasn't yet ready to confront or deal with these matters. So my 2 cents is to let him be for now, while showing him your love and support, and gently nudge him in the direction of this site. Do it together. Also gently suggest that he seeks a good therapist and see how he welcomes/reacts to that.

Lastly, look after yourself. Be honest with him about your feeling that you had to discover, but also let him know that you understand how he feels. He has come leaps and bounds and he is in a good relationship with you - many find this which we take for granted an extremely difficult thing.

You are a great woman and I think you are both very lucky to have each other.

If you need anything feel free to come on here and ask away! Keep us posted. I wish you happiness and the very best.
_________________________
Daily I worry for the safety of my young sons - but worry achieves nothing! So I pray for their safety!