I decided to venture onto the Family and Friends board. I read one post and I immediately began to feel my anger level rise.
The myth that men who are sexually abused go on to become abusers is complete BS. And yet, I can't help but feel pigeon holed into that category. It seems that at every corner men continue to be denied the resources to heal and recover. And societal support, whether the structured or through peers is in fact a resource. How can we ever heal if we feel alienated all the time? By the same token, if men who are sexually abused go on to become abusers, then the same can be said about women. And yet we don't extend that logic to women. That is the a huge double standard.
What do men have to do to raise awareness about these issues? Do I have to scream at the top of my lungs until someone hears me? Have we not suffered long enough? As if those of us actively pursuing recovery and healing should be lumped into the same category as the very people who abused us. That does not bode well with me, at all. I understand the need to protect children, but does it not seem logical to have those who's childhoods were destroyed lead the crusade. Who better to inform and spread awareness than someone who has seen the horrors of sexual abuse?
This infuriates me. The poster has a reason to want to protect her children, and I respect that 100%. I just feel like we're always swimming against the current. There is a lack of services for men in general, the help that is out there is in short supply or geared to women, we are not allowed as men to be victimized, and society condemns us by assuming we are all going to turn into perpetrators. The odds are stacked against us.
What kills me is the fact that everyday I come here at MS and read post after post where men are pouring themselves out. Finally admitting to the hurt that's inside, and it wrenches me and my eyes fill with tears. It hurts to hear your stories, but I want every man on this board to know that I will hear you. Every plea and every effort to reach out, I will not deny you. It hurts me more than anything to hear that ME and YOU are being thrown into the same group of people that killed our childhoods. We have worked damn hard to get here, and we deserve to be heard and we deserve a life worth living.
That's the end of my rant. Heal well brothers.
I am the warrior.