i've been through the nightmares phase, too. notice i said "through." it didnt last forever - just seemed like it at times. as they say, "this too shall pass."
about your dream - i don;='t think there is any way to "translate" the objects and events in a neat A=B kind of way.
but just generally speaking - here's what it sounds like to me:
i think you are feeling both vulnerable and at least partially responsible. also fearful about the effects that your past and your present reactions are having on your family and friends.
i think all of that is perfectly understandable and "normal."
hold on - keep working at it - and it WILL get better.
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago