Sam I so understand what you are feeling. Just this last week I tried communicating with what was/is my best friend who experienced it. We were 9 at the time. We have only talked maybe a dozen times in the last 40 years. I don't think I approached it as confrontational as you did and I certainly was tip toeing around the subject. But I so wanted him to acknowledge the incidents and move through this process together. Somehow I would seem much easier if I had him - the one I survived with - along my side which I attempt to heal.

I didn't get what I had hoped for but I did get what I expected. He isn't ready to approach the subject. He would rather continue to forget or push it down. When I brought up the fact that the recent release of the Boy Scout files had me thinking back about our time in scouts - he quickly stated that thank goodness our leaders were 'moral and upstanding'. Hmmm.

Afterwards I figured that if he isn't going to go there (figuratively speaking) with me, then I will just have to make the journey myself - alone. I am use to being alone. It has been way too long a life to hold this monkey on my back and I want to heal.

Like you I asked those questions and my only answer possible is yes - I did get less than I hoped for - yes I will have to leave him behind and experience life without him. I do leave the door open and if he/they want to jump on board I would welcome it. But what is next for me is what I am use to - moving down the journey alone. You and I have done it before and I expect we can do it now.
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transition from cub scouts to boy scouts wasn't easy. It was hard to go from the safety of den mothers to the world of men and older boys.