Thanks you so much for the support, guys.

The odd thing is, I kinda like who I am now. I am proud of how far I came. I pulled myself up from growing up on the wrong side of the tracks and eventually living on the streets, to owning a three-bedroom house in one of the more exclusive neighbourhoods in the city. I am good at my job, and respected by my co-workers. I was a good husband, even if it took a while to get there. I am working my ass off at being a good boyfriend now. And more important than anything else, I am a way better father than I even imagined I could be.

And yet, it takes so little to dump me back into self-loathing. I could never understand that.

I think I needed to see this boy as separate from myself, to be able to admit how I felt about him. I wasn't willing to admit that I hated myself, but when I pictured this boy, standing in front of me - a separate person - I knew that I hate him. I could hardly stand to look at him...

Lee - I'm glad I could re-introduce you to your younger self. I feel so much compassion for the boy you describe. You post is making me think about why I hate that boy so much. I'm not sure... I think I need more time...


Edited by crazy gecko (11/16/12 02:01 AM)
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

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