i went back once to the house where it all started. we drove past it several times. it was before i revealed what had happened there to my wife. our kids were in the car and she was all excited - "Look: that's where your daddy lived when he was a little boy!" it was weird - they were so happy and i was aching and trying to act normal. it was - of course - much smaller - and more innocuous - than i remembered it. it just doesn't seem right that something that was so huge in your history can look so insignificant...

We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9