Thank you for your post. I now know that I am not alone. I have had the same experience that you describe. My husband is here physically but when he can't cope he becomes absent and self destructive. I feel so alone right now. I am searching for help. I have know for at least a year that I need to see a therapist so that I can cope because at times it becomes too much for me (we have three children). The problem is that, the mere thought of looking for one (with the possibility of finding one who cannot help and all the insurance crap) all by itself makes me feel overwhelmed so I have not done it but am getting to a point that I need someone to talk to or my family is going to fall apart. There is no one in my life that I trust enough to talk to and I am at the point that I need professional help to cope and be strong for my children.