As a young gay boy in an abusive home, I went online to find support from adults. I had initially poitive experiences, but by the time I was 13, I was being asked to preform cyber sex with men online, playing in their fantasies, and having them record me. This went on weekly for five years, and it was the only outlet I had to express my sexuality...
When I was 17, I had sex with my first man, who was in his 40s. During my first two years of university, I did not know how to positively express myself sexually, and twice when I had too much to drink, men had anal sex with me without my consent. I see still both of these men who raped me on campus.
Having begun my recovery journey in the last year and a half, depression, flashbacks, and anxiety have been constants, but I am still pushing to shape a positive future for myself, maybe someday find a loving relationship, and follow my dreams.
I am really looking forward to connecting with other male survivors.
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."