The worse part is that I will be consciously manufacturing "evidence" of feelings I don't have for the sake of consciously convincing others of what I have figured out they want to hear.
That is the survivor in you... doing whatever is neccesary to get through the situation. Thats not neccesarily a bad thing to do. Its your decision whether this is a situation in which to stand your ground or not. Use your judgement man, your in charge.
"Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive,
Thought thats just what it cost to survive in this world,
...now I haven't got time for the pain... " -Carly Simon now 67!