The most difficult thing for me is to be in the same room with the abuser. I have to do it once or twice a year and I'm physically sick to my stomach. My husband pretends like nothing happened. I worry that the perp is still at it and I am complicit in the silence. I am on heightened alert with my children. And I'm sad and disgusted at the lack of transparency in these otherwise mundane interactions. I'm jealous of ROE although I know there will be hell to pay if I out the abuser(s). The pain filters down to us, and it potentially endangers my children because it endangers their parents relationship. It's probably not 100% accurate, but I blame the abuse and therefore the abuser for the problems that led to divorce being bandied about. And I have the hardest time forgiving the abusers for that.
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Wife of a survivor