Finally posting on the "Progress" Forum is a sign of progress for me! I've thought about it before, but thought maybe the progress wasn't enough to post, or that if I posted it things might change. I don't feel this way anymore.

In fact, I am convinced that, just as talking about painful stuff helps, naming the positive things is extremely important.

Positives:

I FINALLY believe myself. No more doubts. I got the story right, no matter what anyone else says. Being able to say this is far and a way the biggest accomplishment for me. I didn't know the difference before, when I at least started talking about my memories (And I should give myself credit for that, too. It was not easy, and it was HUGE at the time, and I wouldn't be healing in the way I am now if I didn't say that then, or at least at some point.)

I believe my story. I get help when I need it, and am worth it. I care about others and help them.

Yes, I'm o.k.


(The 'dark side' of my recovery is that there are still rough moments, but now I know even when I fantasize about my abuse, it is because of what they did to me, not because I wanted it then or wanted it now.)

The feeling I have about myself now is worth the years of work.
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"This is not my shame, this is their shame." Mona Eltahawy