Welcome to MS. You have taken a huge step by beginning to speak out about your childhood abuse. Confronting your mother took tremendous courage. In time the sadness will pass. Just keep doing the hard work of recovery and you will make it.
"When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone
And I have become comfortably numb."Pink Floyd